The End: Black Honda Accord (no real nickname) 2001-2007

I had an interesting morning. On my way to work, I decided for a rare treat- a chicken biscuit from McDonald's- something I haven't had in months. I knew it was going to be a busy day at work, and some food sounded good. It was this stop that sealed my fate, naturally.

I pull up to a stoplight on Montclair, and take a bite out of my chicken biscuit. I hear a crash, followed by another crash behind me. As I'm thinking "oh man that sucks for somebody" I glance in the rear view and for maybe a second, maybe less, I see a Honda Pilot careening towards me. I start to twist the wheel- but there's no time. I am jolted forward- and I remember clearly that fraction of time where I am not touching my seat but not yet yanked back by the belt. Fortunately I was wearing the seat belt. I'd rather not think about what would have happened if I hadn't. In the end, it was a six car pile-up. I was in the middle. Here's how it went down.

Redneck truck pulls up to the light. Behind him is UAB student Sentra. Behind that is Ditchell Honda. 30 feet behind that, Old Lady Honda Pilot, behind her Yuppie BMW. And behind them all, Old Guy Minivan.

Old Guy Minivan is probably going 50 mph when he hits BMW. BMW's hood is flattened into Old Lady Pilot. Old Lady Pilot somehow slides 25-30 feet into me, and then we scoop up the two front cars.

I'm still not sure why Pilot when so far. Perhaps Old Man Minivan was really haulin'. I don't know.

I get out of the car, and it is fucked. Accordianesque (see what I did there?) on the front and back. Old Lady Pilot is mainly concerned with her radiator (What is that hissing sound?) I bite back my reply (thats your truck eating my car, lady) silently. Naturally, other than some cosmetic scratches, the Pilot looks OK. In a bit of karmic justice she still had to get towed because it made a god aweful sound when she tried to drive it away.

We wait it out for the po po, and I get to witness some good ol' down home Alabama rubbernecking at its finest. Wow. You guys never see a 6 car pile up in Mountain Brook before?

The calvary shows up in the form of my father. We eulogize what a great car it was as he drives me back to my house. I go lay down for like 30 minutes. I'm not hurting- just feel like I got punched by Jesus or something. Kinda a sore neck but even tonight I don't think it's anything major. Work is... I don't know. I've just kind of been in a daze all day.

I am moderately excited about getting a new vehicle. Since I have existed on family hand me downs, this will be the first time I've done some car shopping.

But in the meantime, I get to drive my mom's old van. A relic of childhood/concert going that's really not bad at all. Except for gas consumption.

So despite losing what was easily my favorite, most reliable car ever, it's ok. It was time for a change. I'm ok (I think) and I wanted to say that I appreciate the frantic "WTF are you ok?!?!?!" emails today. It was a weird fucking day, and I'm glad it's over.

GH3 wins

Picked up Guitar Hero 3 today.

My hand hurts.

The blog suffers.

The Drought

One may wonder where my posts have been. Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, I did one job at the station. I did it well. Someone else did a another job. She did it poorly. She found another job, and I took hers.

All was well. But then the spectre of SWEEPS showed up. And in the past, I would do my little job and she would do hers. Now... it's just me. And since the person who took my old job is out for a week, it's pretty much me. Doing both jobs. And when I'm not doing that, I'm either drinking or sleeping.

Listen, I'm not boohooing over here. Quite the opposite. It's satisfying to do good work and for the most part I'm happy with what I'm producing. But when I come home, I have not had the mental energy to blog.

This is distressing to me. So I am typing this right now. This pseudo blog. I have sworn to blog twice a week. And so it shall be. I will post again on Sunday. Don't give me any of that business about Sunday being the start of the week either. That's crap.

So. That's what I've been up to. On top of that, tomorrow my boss is coming to my house at 6:45am so we can go to Legion Field together to work the Magic City Classic.

November cannot end soon enough. (and yes, I recognize that it has not even started).

The Current Obsession- Portal 10/10

It's very simple. There's this game, called Portal.

Go read about it. Be warned they pretty much give everything away in that article

So when you win, the evil robotic voice that's been promising you cake and trying to kill you sings you a song.

A really, really great song. I am sure it doesn't have the impact if you haven't been playing the game, but give it a listen


BRILLIANT. I swear to you I've listened to this song about 20 times in the past 2 days. I even found an .mp3 for the Ipod. It occupies far too many of my waking thoughts.

I will refrain from talking about the brilliant ending you experience before you hear this song. But despite the lavish selections for the coveted (and just now conceived) Ditchell Game of the Year award, this is first on the list.

Portal can be played on a computer with a Steam account, or on an Xbox 360. Play it.

In Rainbows realtime review 9.5/10

I promised more Radiohead talk. This will be nigh incomprehensible if you haven't heard the album, and I suggest you skip it. Most of this was written during my 2nd listen through.

1. 15 Steps- What the hell? a drum machine? very odd. The guitar does not sound like them at all. Ooh. Now it does. Breakdown very, very Radiohead. Sounds Morrocan. And I don't know what that sounds like. When the bass kicks in... much better. I need some good headphones to listen to this on.

2. Bodysnatchers- holy crap thats heavy (for them). very upbeat. building...very bends-ish. wow. I really want to hear this live. This is my favorite song by them in 3 albums. more drums. the drummer must have complained. its ok, though. This could be the single- if they believe in singles anymore.

3. Nude- ok i know this song. I _think_ i might have heard it live. definately on a bootleg. it's all "motion picture soundtrack"-y now. nice baseline. very fat. they love the "angelic choir" sound. This is a very different version. much bigger. kind of winds down at the end. very nice.

4. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi- Jazzy! sorta. instrumental? no. did thom go deep sea diving? oddly upbeat. that might be my two word review for the whole album. gets real quiet... i bet they kick it back in. that would be just like them. "eaten by the worms"? and then "weird fishes". wtf? and there's the kick-in. with a bass line. this sounds like punchup at a wedding. damn that's exactly what it is. but about fishes.

5. All I need- starts slow. perhaps this is where it slows down. very deep bass? or something. it would shake the house if i turned it up. this is a very simple song. verse chorus verse. i dont say that as a criticism. and now a solo. noisy end. this is the most "typical" song so far.

6. Faust Arp- Beatlesy? wtf? this is a strange one. he doesnt stop talk/singing. its good. just odd. very, very odd. and short. 2nd favorite so far.

7. Reckoner- ok this was a bside on something. it was very heavy. now its... it sounds like the first song. Moroccan. I guess. I already like it better than the other one. very classic radiohead. except they bought some new drum mikes or something. it's slower i think.

8. House of Cards- upbeat again (i'd say the last couple weren't as much). Odd harp thing looped with a guitar. Harp thing sounds like a whale in heat. Simple song. reminds me of the early stuff, actually. This could not have been on anything after the bends. its almost happy. well not the lyrics...the tone. another verse chorus verse. these guys are getting normal in their old age. Is that backup singers?

9. Jigsaw Falling Into Place- very upbeat start. Bends again. I know I'm repeating myself. I'm just surprised that it isn't all bleeps and blips. This is a very "normal" song. even the breakdown is normal. wow. this is a good one too. driving. kind of like "there, there".

10. videotape- piano. more simple. singing about heaven. slow. i got a feeling this isnt going to kick in. odd drum beat. sounds like a reel thats done rewinding, with the tape flapping. ever hear that? wow that's exactly what it sounds like. its getting faster but the piano isn't. now he's...slurring it? wow. really a beautiful song. good way to end it.


OVERALL- Loved it. most "friendly" album in 10 years. Surprisingly simple and direct. I can already tell that I like it better than Amnesiac and Hail To The Thief, neither of which grabbed me like the others. This one is focused, distilled into a syrupy honey flavored treat. I think their time as "the guys who made Creep and then went all weird" is ending, and now they'll be "the guys who made Creep and then got all weird and then released an album that only old people like" is beginning. And as I jump from Wilco playlist to this album, I am perfectly OK with it.

What are you going to do, blog about it?

Open letter to Taylor Hill:

Yes, Taylor, I am going to blog about it. About your reckless and wanton desire to ruin my expensive carpet by equipping your very cute kid with Play Doh. Your parenting needs to be exposed. Looking back, I should be happy that you forgot the finger paints and chocolate cake.

With that said, you sprung upon that carpet as if it were an affront to all that you hold dear. The spot you cleaned is technically the cleanest nook and/or cranny in my home. Please come visit anytime.

Your pal,

Ditchell.

In Rainbows

Listening to the new Radiohead.

Immediate reaction is that it is fantastic. That should not be surprising to anyone who knows me.


More later.

bills

I've been a Buffalo Bills fan for about 20 years. I don't remember why I chose them. But I did. And this was before they went (and lost) to four Super Bowls. I went through that. Not as a geographical fan. But as a fan. So tonight, in the midst of vacating as only I do (not going anywhere, but not working), I watched them play with the undefeated cowboys for 3 quarters and 14:58 seconds. And then, in the way that only one who follows the Bills would understand and accept, they blew it.

I am not shocked. I'm not even that upset by it. Choosing the bills arbitrarily as I did, I should have expected no less.

My fall week off has begun. I'd like to tell you tales of adventure, but truthfully, I'm just kind of hanging around. I should probably go somewhere. But I'm horrible at planning such events. So I'm here. Not working. Sleeping late. Playing Halo. Edging the driveway. Laundering.

There's a nagging feeling that I should GO SOMEWHERE during my week off. I WENT SOMEWHERE in August, though. And honestly, I could not spend money and that wouldn't be a bad thing. I must resist this pressure. I think I will play disc golf tomorrow. And perhaps, if the mood strikes me, I will play some Halo.

So say we all.

Monthly Feature: I'm Rich, Bitches

Every month I will let you know how I'm doing financially. I added ads as sort of a joke, not expecting anything from it. But oh, how I was wrong! The month of September has netted me $.02! So keep looking at that ad, suckers! I'm riding this horse all the way to Barbados!


EDIT: My friend anonymous has reminded me that I am not to tell people to click on the ads. If he would have read more closely, I said "keep looking at that ad". But let's say he was in a hurry. Anyways, DON'T EVER CLICK ON AN AD. EVER. That goes for all sites you ever go to. Hold on, getting a PM from Google HQ....

Ok, apparently that doesn't work either. Here's the deal. Don't click on MY ads. Click on everyone else's ads. Twice.

(Thank god I didn't make a blog about ads).

In Rainbows

Radiohead dropped a bomb on the various internets yesterday. It's so short, I'll quote it.

Hello everyone.Well, the new album is finished, and it's coming out in 10 days;We've called it In Rainbows. Love from us all.
Jonny

So the new Radiohead album, the first in 4 years, it's coming out in 9 days. I go to pre-order it from them and... I get to set my own price. That's right. Basically, they are beating the wily internet at its own game. Leak their own album, ask for donations. Beautiful. I approve. You can have my six bucks, Radiohead.

Here's hoping the album is good.