I can't help that I'm so superior

Yeah, I said it.

I got some reader feedback last night. Since that was probably half my readers, I should listen to both of them. I enjoy talking about what's going on- and if that's getting the greatest computer on earth, then that might get brought up. I could talk about the Vampire Weekend show- It was fantastic. But nooo. Don't want to be superior.

Let's talk about yard work.

I moved in this house in 2005, with the intent of clearing the foreboding forest in the back third of my property. Until yesterday, that was lip service. Longtime readers will remember my dumping of leaves into this area- creating a no man's land of mushy mystery. Yesterday, as I finalizing "Giant Pile of Leaves 2008", I grabbed my loppers, and entered the forbidden zone. For those in tiny apartments, loppers is the greatest invention ever. I've cut down small trees with this thing. So I went into the back with the lopper, and emerged covered in the blood of privet. I got privet everywhere. Need some? Let me know. Right now, there's a giant pile of it by my driveway.

Anyways, I blazed a trail to the back corner of my yard, and then worked my way up the middle. Today, I removed some giant limbs that had been there since before I moved in. And I am not done. Basically, if it is loppable, then it dies. Unless it's hardwood and taller than I am. Once all of this is done (couple of weeks, maybe) I plan on finding some DDT or Agent Orange and carpet bombing the ivy out there. It will come back, of that I am positive. But right now it is an affront to me. It must die.

This leaves (ha ha!) the giant pile of leaves. With my newfound desire to clean up, they cannot be deposited in the forbidden zone. I must actually bag them. I've dreamed of ways to burn them without causing the neighbors to freak out but I don't think that will work. After this, I'm looking at the eyesore of a dog house that dares to still stand. I am coming, doghouse, and I am bringing hell with me!

This...is....Conway Lane!

oh man that was terrible.

So there. All is not correct in my world. Despite watching the finest TV, purchasing the finest computer, watching the hottest band, I am but a man. A man with a yard that resembles Uganda. (I don't know if Uganda has forests). I struggle just like you do, with your workings and such. I too understand how the world is out to get you. I am a relatable blogger, feeling your hopes and fears as if they were my own. Please click on my ads now.

There you go, now I've done it. The jackbooted Googlorians are here.