falling for it

Well everyone ELSE is talking about it.

At first i scoffed. But it is kind of neat. I really like the whole column view thing. I'm not sure it's as good as google- searching for myself was met with mixed results. It found the same thing many times- something that google doesn't do.

But I do like the idea of someone doing something different with search. Competition is good. And when it IPOs I will be on it like a vulture.


In other news:

Cutting the grass today became an exercise in frustration. My new lawnmower (which proudly says in it "Guaranteed to Start") decided to quit while I was cutting the front. Gas and oil a plenty in it, I am stuck as far as what to do next. Mainly because I don't understand the combustion engine, and have no desire to learn its inner workings. I pay people for that. I'll just load it up in the van and take it to a repairman.

Now where did I park that van? Oh wait, there's this expensive still camera sitting where the van was. Hmm.

I am going to see if it starts tomorrow. Perhaps it was flooded or flurged or some other made up word about engines. If that doesn't happen, I'll place the call. It will go something like this.

"Father, it is time. There is a great disturbance in my yard. The lawnmower requires your attention."

"Yes my son. I shall bring my trailer and my own mower to finish the yard when you aren't even there. I will do a better job than you ever could have, and your neighbors will scoff at you for hiring elderly labor. And I shall take your mower back to my lair where I will dissect it, most likely breaking it beyond repair. Then I shall give you my old mower, and use that as an excuse to go buy a new one that will be superior to yours in every way. It will have headlights and a beverage holder. I will never use or understand any of the new features on it, of course."

I am trying to be funny. But he does have a way with things. He'll come over, look it over, and find that one critical thing that I never knew about and twiddle with it. It's infuriating in a way, but I can tell he likes that.

But it's also my fault. The other day my neighbor let me borrow his power washer. Aside: dude, my driveway is WHITE. When he was showing me how it worked, we were talking about how my garage door is on its last legs, shuddering down the track. he looked over and showed me how ALL the bolts on it were loose. I'm talking really loose. I would have never thought to actually check them.

But the laugh is on him! I tightened the bolts and it still appears to be slowly dying. Maybe something else is loose. I need to attack it with wrenches. I'll do that Eventually.

flickr crazy

I love my new camera. Check out my flickr page. I'm pretty proud of my "return to where I used to go as a kid and its all fucked up now" pictures. Cause they communicate how i felt. I was in complete shock that this nice little park I used to ride my bike to is completely decimated. And nature is slowing swallowing it up. I should have walked around more, tried to get a picture of the pool. But I was really shaken by it.

I went to the Terminal fundraiser show tonight solo. It was OK. I really hope they stay afloat. But as I told the guy behind the site, if I like what you're doing then most of Birmingham probably does not. At some point you have to appeal to the masses, not the 20 people who are at Bottletree every time I go.

I saw some people I knew at Bottletree, but the whole night felt hollow to me. I felt like I was going through the motions- stepping outside my fragile little circle again and observing people like I was watching a nature doc.

Sometimes I do things and I don't fully understand why. I guess going to Bottletree was one of them. The safe bet was hanging with Phil and Wendy and then going to Chad's. But I chose to go alone to a show full of people I barely know. I either have to stop doing that sort of thing, or stop wondering why I do it.

It's not that I had a bad time, it was just odd. This whole week, month, year has been odd. And I'm not sure why.

The Dark Knight

I saw the Dark Knight in IMAX tonight.  The IMAX part was cool, but I want to see it in a ral theatre- at times it was just too much.

But the movie. Some of my friends seemed a little underwhelmed. I don't know if they were watching some other movie. 

I said when I saw Batman Begins that finally somebody who's making these things gets it. Tonight I say that somebody who's making these things is a genius. The characterization of the Joker is so concise- so pitch perfect. I had no love for Ledger, but after seeing this, I'm quite sorry the poor bastard is no longer with us. He nailed it. They all did. There are some nits I could pick- but why bother? It's a great movie. It surprised me in many ways, and I can't wait to see it again. 

The show

Did you see that South Park where Britney Spears blew her head off but the media still followed her every move? And then at the end (sorry to ruin it) they found Miley Cyrus and started following her? Stan's dad was part of the unspoken cabal intent on destroying celebrities.

And I think it's true. I have a friend- Let's call her Misty just to piss her off. Misty has a problem- Misty is obsessed with everything that Amy Winehouse does. And she shares the minutia of "Wino"'s life on google reader. Being one of her friends, I am updated to Wino's every move. Unfortunately Misty also shares some interesting things, so I can't immediately discount her shared items. So here I am, at least once a day, skimming past headlines that are totally concerned with the fact that some drugged out "talent" left a club with a lamp. That was the story the other day. She took a lamp.

Some days, she goes out to get cigarettes. Some days she get's drunk. Or signs an autograph. No matter what she does, I can see in my head the 18 photographers following her around.

That's probably the worst part of this whole business- how do you wake up in the morning and go to work, when your job is to stalk some fucked up celebrity? You have to know in the back of your head that you are the problem with the world. Kind of like somebody who tries to get people to watch something on television by scaring them or telling them that the life of their children depends on it. What do you call those people? Hmm.

At least at my job, I'm not jamming a camera in someone's face.

The next to worst part is the writing of these sites that Misty frequents. It's pure bile. I'm still shocked sometimes by the hatred they have of Wino. It's as if I had to write about pudding all day, and pudding killed my father. That is the tone of the articles. Let me dig up an example..

In this passage, the writer talks about what it would be like to look at Wino's breasts...

I’d say “not a pleasant sight” is a bit of an understatement. It’d be looking at
two scabby fried eggs you found on the ground and then squashed and slid around
on a dirty window. And the scabby fried eggs are attached to the alien from
Predator’s head and the alien is making the tongue-between-the-fingers sign for
cunnilingus and snarling at you through the partition. I’ve had nightmares that
weren’t that hideous. I’m pretty sure hara-kiri is the only respectable choice
for your penis once you’ve seen something like that.

I appreciate some good filth as much as the next guy, and reading this alone might elicit a chuckle from you- but imagine reading this every day. Imagine writing this every day. After a while, it wears on me.

When she dies (which she probably will soon) then I'll have to read hateful critiques of the funeral. And then some guy will blast her choice in caskets. And then some other asshole will talk shit about her gravestone (it should be made of crack! ha!).

You know, I obsess over video games and media and computer shit. And maybe I'm a giant dork. And I need to go to the gym and eat better.

But thank god I'm not one of these people. I'm better than this shit.

a bunch of savages in this town

DSC_0066, originally uploaded by ditchell.

I thnk Casey might have captured what its like to hang out with drunk Lawlesses in one single picture...

Photo picture making

So. How was your week [that's good, Chris. Engage the reader]

Fantastic. I had a good week too. [and now hook them with your trademark self reflection. No other blog is doing this. Cutting Effing Edge, bro.]

I decided to buy a digital camera. Not just any digital camera, but one of those fancy ones. A Nikon D80, to be exact. Now the most obvious question, and quite a good one, is Why?

Unfortunately there's not really an easy answer. In my "professional career" there have been moments of time when I needed a "real" "camera" [Quote marks make you look smart and are almost never ridiculed for being used in the wrong place]. But those odd times don't necessitate owning one- just knowing who to call on when you need one.

But there's another factor at play here. One I've been toying with during the early part of this very blog. My ego.

I got one. And when I see something creative it never fails that a small part of my brain says "I can do that."

So I bought a camera. I'm reading about f/stops and ISO. And either I'm going to "do that" or I can't. But I need a challenge. I've obviously conquered the "way too old to play Call of Duty on a Saturday morning" challenge. And fortunately for a certain TV station, I'm obviously the shit when it comes to writing and producing. [ I wonder if sarcasm comes across in this medium?]

So let's see what I can do with stillz. Maybe nothing. Maybe I'll just have a kickass camera I use every now and then. Maybe I'll annoy the shit out of you talking about lenses I want. [and there are lenses I want, dear reader]

But whatever. It's something new. I gotta have new things. I gotta either fail or succeed. But I need to try. I have to. Just wait til I get the equipment for my concept album. [whew. they probably think I'm joking]