The Long Count

I've been semi seriously thinking that December 21, 2012 was the end of it all.

Apparently the disaster has been averted.

Whew!

I do like calling something "The Long Count". That will either be my novel about migrant accountants or my concept album about...migrant accountants.

The Long Count. I really like that. That's a good blog name. It certainly makes more sense than The Exact Smile. You know how I got that name? Two random words in the dictionary. Really. But it kind of clicked at the time. I love the word exact. I like some words that when you say them and type them and write them, they feel right. Exact feels right to me. Smile... well I don't know why I liked that. I guess the idea was that I was capturing a moment- and a smile is a moment. So The Exact Smile is a moment in time- maybe its happy, maybe cynical. I don't know. But its important to notice moments. I've spent most of my life living by this:

since feeling is first
e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

It's not like I can tell you why, either. It was the first time a poem reached up, slapped me in the face, and made me tear each word apart. I don't expect you to understand or feel the same way. One day I'll tell you if you want to hear it. But I'm not going to impose a verbose explanation on you in this space.

To continue my fascination with social networking, I joined facebook. People have found me on there...people whom I had completely forgotten about. It's very strange to see someone 20 years later.

I also found a girl I dated. I haven't seen her in 10 years. She's happily Mommed up now with a cute kid. It is oddly satisfying to me to see that she's doing well. Someone who I have probably thought about a handful of times in the last 12 years. But its all good.

I look forward to seeing what other denizens turn up on there. It's a certain kind of person (that I am unfortunately one of) that wants to see how it turned out, I guess.

wholly a fool,
cm