Fragile City Stories

I was going to write about vacation. And maybe I will eventually. But this past week has reminded me of a city I both love and hate, and I want to write about it.

I went to New Orleans when I was 5 to visit my aunt and uncle. I clearly remember him taking me to the levee. I remember that (and for some reason the layout of his house) because I was completely terrified by the levee. He held me up and I could see that water was ABOVE US. My parents later told me I was a mess for hours after that. I just remember that singular moment of terror- and it stuck with me for a long time. In fact I'm still a little scared of water for that very reason. It's primal- we don't belong in that shit. Things that eat us do. I love teasing a friend about his fear of sharks- but the truth is they terrify me as well. I'm just rational about it.

I've been to New Orleans probably 15 times in my life. A wing of my family settled there, and I'm a sucker for free places to stay. I've been 3 times since Katrina. And as detailed in the past, I check on the city when I'm there. I have certain places I go every time, just to see how they are. I don't know why I care- in college I once famously said I'd never go back there...but that was after a rough Mardi Gras that now is almost a fond memory.

So this week, a large portion of that wing of my family has relocated to Birmingham to wait out the storm. Well that's not true- they were coming up anyways for Labor Day, and are still here. They're waiting on the mayor to tell them its ok to come home. And power. They kind of want power in their house. Yesterday my cousin came over to use her laptop (parents are not wireless, but at least they aren't dial-up). She said something very revealing to me- she kind of wished her house had been destroyed this time. She's sick of it. They stuck to it through Katrina. They went back. They carried on, putting up with all the bullshit. But Gustav might have been it for them- its not that anything happened- its that they had to do this to begin with. I can't imagine psychologically what it must be like to have your home threatened like this. I don't consider New Orleans a home- but after Birmingham in some ways it is. It's certainly a base of operations for me. And I completely understand my cousin. Fuck it. Get the hell out of there.

In related news, the place I vacated to, Tybee Beach, is facing down Hanna. I have become death, destroyer of cities.