Day 2 and 3

Day 2 begins with us back in the courtroom. Endless questions- have you ever been involved in a criminal case? Half the room raises their hands, and we get to hear brief details about their cases. It sounds interesting, but actually its not.

My jury girlfriend (number 2) seated next to me is fidgety. We are talking now so she will occasionally lean over and ask me things like "are we getting a break?". As if I somehow possess this knowledge and am keeping it from her. Eventually the lawyers need to argue about something, and that sends 50 of us into a room designed for 12 people. I end up across the room from her, talking to a judge who was on jury duty. She falls asleep standing up. Very impressive. I talk to the judge- he says they'll keep us in here for 5 minutes and we'll then be released. We stay in there for 40 minutes.

We're not back out there very long when we get herded back into the room. This time she and I talk a little, but i mostly read. By this time I'm irritable and sick of my jury girlfriend and jury duty in general. I _know_ I'm not being chosen for this trial. When I mentioned the TV station, I could see all their little lawyer pens scribbling madly. After another wait, we are finally weeded out. My girlfriend and I are the first row to go. We walk back across the street to the jury room. One of my mistakes in my bored analysis of her was that I assumed she wouldn't be intelligent. Perhaps that says more about my views on women. Nah, it doesn't. I know plenty of smart women. I just didnt think she was one of them. We return to the relative comfort of the jury room. Jury girlfriend #1 is curled up asleep in her chair. Small people- they can do that. They can sleep in chairs like they are beds. Damn them. I slip into my seat, JG #2 into hers, but closer. Cause now I have a stable of ho's. I'm the pimp of the jury room. But then I see a different reporter walking by and hop up to go talk to him. Sewer stuff, of course. We have a smoke, he complains about work, I explain to him that other than boringness, jury duty is ok. He leaves, I go back in. And then it happened. My pimp status is revoked. Scary moustache guy, who had been with us in the coutroom but on the other side, has taken my seat. my pimp seat. Comically, as I'm walking back to my seat, jury girlfriend #2 runs to the bathroom, as if ashamed that this old moustache guy would dare try to fill my shoes. I move down further in my row, no longer in the safe confines of the column. I get a knowing look from jury girlfriend #1. She's not happy with the situation.

But the magic then happens. Jury girlfriend #2 spurns the moustached infidel, and sits next to me. It's not often you get little wins in your imaginary jury duty pimp game, but that was it. Moustache could have my older girlfriend- I will take The Most Beautiful Girl in the Whole Wide Jury Duty Room, thank you very much. I finish 1984 with satisfaction. She and I discuss banal stuff- none of it matters. Cause Moustache keeps sneaking glances at her and to my endless delight she catches him. Too funny. We are then freed for the day.

Day 3

I get there late and she is already surrounded with suitors so I slip in on the row behind her. She immediately turns around and says hey. I'd had the night to realize that I needed to pull it back. It was fun, but I'm sorry, I gotta move on. You're cute, but it'll never work. It's not you, its me. But she was having none of that. First of all, she's wearing a shirt with holes in it. You know like a sweater but thinner. I'm not going to dwell on that, but let's all agree that it was appropriate for attracting jury duty boyfriends. Secondly, she apparently had a long discussion with her husband about me and they decided that it was ok for her to be friendly to me. No, I don't know any of that. But it seemed different. Less guarded. I had to tell her all about my work and listen politely to hers. But it was ok. Because the growing sentiment in the room is that jury duty was about to end for most of us.

And so it did. Being a "m" I went first. Then she followed. We said our goodbyes and that was it. I'll never forget my imaginary jury duty girlfriend.

Wait that's too dramatic. I might forget her. She was, however, the living embodiment of the whole experience- fun to look at and talk to, but ultimately a thankfully short diversion from reality. Reality Duty was this week- new lawnmower, gutters, and brakes. That's what I've been doing. Next week, the assault on May begins. It's going to be a hectic month and a half at work, and I'm sort of looking forward to it. I'm ready to occupy my brain with something other than imaginary girlfriends and the futility of spending 500 bucks on a car I desperately want to drive off a ravine.