mystery theatre

Three Things I Should Have Said At The Time.

1. Despite everything else, your introduction of artichokes to my diet was enlightening.

2. Yeah, I'll go to San Diego with you.

3. I'll miss you even if I don't act like it now.

For some reason- most likely the hangover/lack of sleep, I've been in one of those morose, cynically reflective moods. Nobody can beat you up like yourself- you know where to land all the punches that hurt the most. 

did i just make that up or read it somewhere? either way i'm claiming it. 

the long count, indeed.

The Long Count

I've been semi seriously thinking that December 21, 2012 was the end of it all.

Apparently the disaster has been averted.

Whew!

I do like calling something "The Long Count". That will either be my novel about migrant accountants or my concept album about...migrant accountants.

The Long Count. I really like that. That's a good blog name. It certainly makes more sense than The Exact Smile. You know how I got that name? Two random words in the dictionary. Really. But it kind of clicked at the time. I love the word exact. I like some words that when you say them and type them and write them, they feel right. Exact feels right to me. Smile... well I don't know why I liked that. I guess the idea was that I was capturing a moment- and a smile is a moment. So The Exact Smile is a moment in time- maybe its happy, maybe cynical. I don't know. But its important to notice moments. I've spent most of my life living by this:

since feeling is first
e.e. cummings

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
—the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for each other: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

It's not like I can tell you why, either. It was the first time a poem reached up, slapped me in the face, and made me tear each word apart. I don't expect you to understand or feel the same way. One day I'll tell you if you want to hear it. But I'm not going to impose a verbose explanation on you in this space.

To continue my fascination with social networking, I joined facebook. People have found me on there...people whom I had completely forgotten about. It's very strange to see someone 20 years later.

I also found a girl I dated. I haven't seen her in 10 years. She's happily Mommed up now with a cute kid. It is oddly satisfying to me to see that she's doing well. Someone who I have probably thought about a handful of times in the last 12 years. But its all good.

I look forward to seeing what other denizens turn up on there. It's a certain kind of person (that I am unfortunately one of) that wants to see how it turned out, I guess.

wholly a fool,
cm

after after math

drunk blogging. wow. need to cut that out immediately.

I thought about explaining what the hell that was about. I even wrote it out. But I've decided that's best left unposted. Not because I don't like you, gentle reader. But because I'm not sure I want to be absolutely brutally honest. I see no benefit in it. As some sort of writer, I love the act of typing it in. And reading it a day later, it's honestly not too bad. But I'm flushing it. Sorry. Don't take it personally.

you don't come here for my pathetic social life- you come here for random nonsense!

let's talk about... Mario!

I had my first brush with Super Mario Galaxy tonight. I played for about 45 minutes, and at the end of that time, I realized that I was dizzy. It was a welcome break from GTA, but I just don't know about it. I think I may have moved on from Mario games. At no time could I drive down a sidewalk, ending lives with abandon. And there was never any place to buy guns.

Busy week.
Sweeps ends Wednesday. Thursday I'm giving away a car (in Jasper, of course). Saturday I'm destroying a set, going to a wedding, and then going back to destroying a set. I hope at some point to drink myself silly. I'm already planning on Sunday being my day of rest, and then Monday will be a continuation of Sunday.

What else, what else. I worked the Regions Charity Classic yesterday. I got sunburned and gave out water bottles to all who walked by. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great either.

So I'm going to be busy. And after recent events, I welcome it.

Dear Sir:

You are a ****-*****ing ************. Seriously, the girl and i are connecting, dancing, having fun. And you just won't go to your apartment. Go, ***********, go. Please.

And now I come home, just like you. Sleep well, ************.

i say goddamn.

D'accord!

Just had it checked out by a mechanic. Need to spend about $150 on it, but since I'm getting a good deal I'll do that in a couple of weeks. I'll probably write wayyyyy too much about it later, but here it is, on the lot.

never mind about that baja.

the warm embrace of the Honda Accord is calling. I've killed two of its bretheren, but it cannot be deterred. And despite my Subaru flirtation of yesterday, it welcomes me back.

the monthlong car dance is ending. it's the last night before we all go our seperate ways and i stop bookmarking 10 car sites. and AC will flow as i drive into that golden sunset.

adieu, adieu, adieu

is the car search over?

maybe.

edit: according to the epa, it gets 16mpg city, 21 highway. and requires premium gas.
i don't know. i don't know.

nola stage 3

so i'm in New Orleans for a wedding. First, let me say that these people know how to throw a wedding. I'm hopelessly, sloppy liquor drunk right now and stuffed full of exotic foods they just bring to your table. its no wonder everyone down here weighs 400 pounds. i had more jambalaya and gumbo than you ate last year- unless you really like those two foods. and shrimp. just shrimp everywhere. a shrimplosion.

i did some drive-bys of the streets I visited 4 months after Katrina (and then 1 year later). While there's still those head-scratching instances of "will they ever clean that shit up?" there's definately...progress. It doesn't feel quite as bad as it did my last visits- and shit, it's been almost 3 years so it shouldn't. But driving in, you still see houses where the owner said "screw it".

Of course, truth be told, I would have never lived in this god forsaken place. It's not that I hate it, but its just off. It smells funny. It's dirty. And the people are strange. They pride themselves on being the "European City of America." I call BS. I drive down the Causeway and I see
AMERICA. I see Center Point. I see suburban LA. It's all the same. Strip malls starbucks walmarts home depots mcdonalds. Don't kid yourselves, New Orleans. Sure the French Quarter is very European, but nobody actually goes down there who lives here. It's kind of like Vulcan. Do you ever go to Vulcan? Hell no you don't.

I'm trying to decide if I'm driving back tomorrow. There's jazz fest going on, but I'm not sure I want to get in the middle of it. I swore off festivals unless Led Zeppelin and the zombie Beatles are playing.

Before I leave, I'll drive through the 9th ward again. I did that as I left last year- and it was absolutely stunning. Over here in Metarie, there was some bad stuff- but the 9th ward was what you saw on the news. And last year- 1.5 years after it hit- it was one of the most striking things I've ever seen. I'm curious what it looks like now.

My father loaned me his car to drive down here. I resisted at first but the idea of delicious AC was too tempting. And driving down here (in 5.5 hours through rush hour- go ahead and try to beat that) was glorious. His car not only keeps you comfortable, when it hits a bump you don't go flying out of your seat. Also you don't have to hit the radio to make the front speakers work. I did miss that part. The point being- I need some wheels. I have the cash, now its just a matter of finding something. And I think at last count I had "settled" on about 15 different cars before researching my way out of wanting them. I'm sure you can draw some overarching conclusion about my entire personality when I admit that I have a tough time settling on things. Go ahead, I'll wait for you....

Anyways, I need a car. I remember when a friend of mine got a perfectly average little car. I snorted and said something about how PLAIN it was. I regret that. Because the more I look for a car with "personality" the more I realize that those cars aren't that reliable or have some problem or something.

ugh.

long blog. thank god for free hotel internet.

oh sweet GTA, I'm coming home soon.